jesus loves you

i have a lot of regrets

this is one of them

lmao i am so emo

jokessss

i think i can do some work now……..

but i think i am ok right now

at least for now

i don’t know i still don’t know whether or not i’m being dramatic or just seeking attention………………………..

except no one knows lol

i feel stupid not knowing

i thought it was a 3am thoughts thing but it also happens during the day

to think i felt pretty optimistic and happy to get involved with things just this early afternoon

only to feel like shit all over again for the past 2 hours

i get into these fits where i know it’s suppose to comfort me, like knowing that there is help available and but i just get pissed and im not sure why because i gt overwhelmed and scared and embarrassed for feeling this way when nothing bad has ever happened. I JUST FUCK I MAKE THE SAME TEXT POSTS ALL THE TIME TO FIGURE IT OUT BUT I AM NOT ELOQUENT AT ALL

nothing even ever happens in my life

like lmao

i don’t have a tragic story or whatever triggering it

just god

i just am always hopeless

it’s ridiculous

like i am never optimistic

well i do

but it’s temporary and then suddenly i just want to jump off a building

sometimes when it gets to a low point i imagine myself just jumping off the skytrain tracks and hope i get hit

but that’d be such an attention whore to do

but thinking about death is comforting

because life is too hard lol

because fuck not having a purpose

im still working on this stupid degree where it will be of no use because i am a failure at my major

i am so untalented it’s just pathetic i have no portfolio and im afraid

but the other day i went to this leadership workshop and then volunteered for this competition thing

but i still felt like shit

i don’t know fuck

and my mom keeps bothering me about that medical thing

ugh i am such a spoiled brat

i should be grateful but all i’ve wanted to do in the past 6 months was kill myself i am so pathetic it’s ridiculous

my posts are so fucking embarassing my trai nof thought is stupid 

i am so fucking stupid and useless

g o d

this depression shit is so cliche

like fuck

it’s a phase it’s stupid and i am being overdramatic

whatever

fuck you

i am the post fucking shit piss fucking person rn

like fuck you i want to fucking punch you in the face right now

i have anger problems to. good thing you fucking live in cali you fucking dumbass cunt.

i’d love to give you a migraine

fcuking kill yourself then you fucking cunt

people like you makes ME want to kill myself instead of fucking trying

fuck you. burn yourself.

i was so close

bordering thoughts of my uselessness/pity party/hopelessness

i don’t like saying suicidal thoughts because it’s overrated and gross

hopelessness

i

hate

why i already am

and i why i think everyone just hates me

like

bye

that i can’t unlike old posts what the fuck

fuck you tumblr

i liked some ugly, crap shit come on

THE WORLD IS GOING TO END, first thing i say for this year

2012 i predict you suck again

s’long as im still living

friend’s high as shit right so

should i ask her if she is 

im kind of tired. im a shit 20 yr old i should just die